My Essays

here is an essay I wrote (I'll put more in later):

To commit or not to commit

Dating for me was an enjoyable experience. What happens though when that inevitable question arises, as in a lot of long term relationships, “when do you want to start living together?” At that time, a lot of guys have to think very hard to decide if this is the best route to go.
Dating has a nice quality to it called distance. With this distance comes enough freedom to do almost whatever you please on your off time. “I’m kind of sick today” or, “hey I got this thing going on this afternoon and won’t be able to make it over” are some common excuses you can use to cut an evening short or cancel it altogether when your significant other wants you over. When living together, this is not possible. The “illness” excuse can lead to your partner telling you they will be home early to make sure you’re ok, and that “thing” you got going on? Well scratch that, because more than likely your live in partner will know if you have any kind of event happening. They do check all your pieces of paper and your calendar.
When dating, you have the reassurance that at any time this relationship can be ended, leaving you free as a bird at the time of your own choosing. Try that when your girlfriend lives with you. Suddenly an easy dumping becomes a financial nightmare, because you’re probably splitting the bills, and you have more than one expense under two names. To do this properly you need to plan months in advance, saving your cash and picking a day to end this wreck of a relationship; and as for getting her crap out of the place? This is a whole other mess in itself involving numerous days and chaotic planning, which more than likely will evolve into vicious fights and some items of yours flying off a second story walkway into the street. This is good if you love chaos and mayhem, bad if you just want to have a peaceful evening watching Monday night football.
Privacy is another option you can have when just dating. Your mail is yours alone. Letters and phone numbers can be safely put out in the open on your dresser or kitchen counter, where only your eyes will be viewing them. Maybe a flirtatious girl at work writes you a nice letter. Maybe in this letter she hints at getting some drinks. You come home from work, set your gear (letter included) on the table, lay down for a minute, and the next thing you know you’re out cold, asleep. Try doing that with a live in girlfriend, where you wake up to the sound of her reading this letter out loud like it’s the damn State of the Union Address. You think your mail is yours? Not when miss live in girl has a key to the mailbox and a handy dandy letter opener. Those letters and phone numbers left out, even if they’re just the hamburger joint down the road, can become the second Fourth of July that year. “Who the hell’s number is this? It has no name?!?” you hear in a shrill, nail biting voice. “Well it’s probably Steve’s burgers,” you answer with confidence. “Let her call that one”, you think to yourself assuredly. Problem is it was the Steve’s burgers where you work, so when she dials that same seven digit number it’s in the wrong area code. So what happens? A chick answers, that’s what happens! You better start praying that you remembered to put those things in a double locked safe, or you’ll come home and all those numbers on the counter will have been dialed, a lose lose situation for everyone involved.
Now, I don’t watch much TV, but at the rare times I want to catch a game or let my mind rot away on some construction or mechanic show, the boob tube is usually already in use. Before I could turn on the crap box and let my mind drift to the land of sports, or hammers, wrenches, and saws. Now I am forced to either leave, or watch some stupid actor/ lawyer convict white trash people in small claims court, or maybe see who will be “America’s next top model,” stuff which has no educational value like football does.
It may seem that I am taking a very negative approach to this living together thing. So far living together means no privacy, no alone time, a lot of unneeded violent confrontations, and no time to watch the tube. Well, I guess living together can have some good points. I would be a hypocrite to say it’s all bad, because I live with my girlfriend right now. Coming home to a nice meal after a long day is great, especially since my cooking slightly resembles the tray rations we ate in the military, and that’s on a good day. Granted she’s just learning to cook, but she does alright on some things. She even took the initiative to buy a cook book, which gives her a few points on my, “don’t toss her out on her keister yet” list.
A clean apartment is another thing I kind of appreciate arriving to find. Gone are the days of wading through my clothes, as if I were on a jungle patrol, looking for trip wires (or coat hangers), and having to get out my compass to navigate from the bathroom to the kitchen. Hell, I just recently found out that, “you need to use antibacterial dish soap” to wash dishes, and that the time to wash them is not after you run out of dishes. I guess now with this antibacterial dish soap, I won’t run out of lava shower soap so soon.
Though the constant companionship can get frustrating, there are times it can be nice. Different situations where I couldn’t figure out what to do used to bring me into combat mode. In my mind I would hear my Drill Instructor yelling, “AAAATACK, KILL!!!” when I encountered problems in my life that I did not want to deal with. Now there’s the quiet voice that gives me an alternative to situations like getting my money back from the rental agency that jipped us by shooting a couple rounds through their main office window, or tracking Mr. no call back apartment manager to his residence and asking him personally about fixing that AC unit that drips water all over the place. Yeah, I guess she has helped me learn some political correctness and manners. So even though there are some definite down sides, the up sides of living together usually cancels those out. Notice the word usually instead of the word always. It is up to you to decide if the girl is worth that much trouble. Me? I bought a document safe and watch TV at work now, so I think I’ll be ok.